Reflections of a Single Mom

9:00 AM

This is the time of the year when everyone shows an extra love to their loved ones. Flowers and chocolates are everywhere. Oh I love flowers! They remind me of every step I took in my love life, family life and solo parent life. Some steps brought happiness and some did not. But the important thing about all of these is I learned my lessons and used them to make me a better person ... a better parent ... trying to be the best single mom. I am a work in progress!

Single motherhood is a job which no one chooses to apply for. No one prepares a curriculum vitae to get a "single mom" position. It just happens due to certain problems and difficult situations. For me, single motherhood means having a huge responsibility not only to my children but also to myself. A single mom is busy providing for her children and at the same time she needs to keep telling herself "it's ok, everything will be alright, don't worry" ... over and over again. This role is very challenging but also very rewarding. Especially when you see your children happy and smiling to the world about simple things in life. That makes this job easier!

I would like to share with you 5 valuable things and realizations I learned from being a single mom. There are so many that I can write a book about it! I just cut it down to only 5 and try to squeeze in all the important learnings I picked up from the past years.

Be a Superhero ... Be a Superwoman

Do the impossible. At the early stage of being a single mom, I always thought that it would be impossible for me to stand on my own, provide for my children and take on a double role of being a daddy and a mommy --- no pack up and no cut from a director! It's hard but the only thing that keeps me go on is my children ... the perfect life that I dream for them. So when you feel that the world is pulling you down, go back to your goal --- the BEST FUTURE for your children.

Love Yourself   

You must put a lot of energy into looking after yourself. Eat right, get some exercise, sleep well, maintain your social life, make friends, pamper yourself sometimes, treat yourself to shopping sometimes and exert effort to look good. Being a single mom doesn't mean you need to ignore yourself over your other responsibilities. It is also our responsibility to take care of ourselves. Who else would dare to take care of us but our own selves. Love yourself! Remember, we need to get all the strength and long life in the world until our children can already stand on their own and live their own lives.

Pay No Attention to Other People's Judgments 

We cannot control other people's perceptions on what a single mom is. Sometimes, there is an assumption that you weren't a good partner, or you easily gave up, or you didn't think a thousand times before you made a decision, or you were selfish. Every single mom has her own reason for a single parent status which sometimes other people couldn't just accept or understand. Don't make these judgments discourage you in reaching your dream to have a beautiful life for you and your children. And besides, these people who make wrong judgments are not the people who help you put food on your table (ooh hah taray mode on haha!) Just focus on your job of raising your children well. Keep it up!

Ask Help ... You Cannot Do Everything

Sometimes I wish I have a clone or there is a mobile app where you can virtually do one chore/errand and your actual body is working to earn money. Get real girl! Walang ganun! There's no harm in asking for other people's help. I am just very lucky to have a family and relatives who are very supportive of my career as a single mom. They are always willing to assist and help me do some things which my one body cannot do anymore at the same time. Especially when it comes to school activities of my children. I also ask help from my friends especially when in comes to preparing for my children's birthday parties. What are friends for! (sometimes I get to abuse this hahaha! i love my friends so much!)

Keep Dreaming  

Dreams help us keep going. A life will not be a better life without a dream. It's okay to wish for a happier life. Each of us moms has her own different dream role in life. Some want to maintain their career in single motherhood and some still want to find a partner who can hold their hands to forever. Me? Hmmm of course I want to find a man who would love me and my children tremendously hahaha! A man who will hold the other end of the rope and never let go while me holding the other end. Wow! Big words! Hahaha! Keep dreaming your biggest dreams moms!

Being a single mom is not always about hardship, most of the time it brings self-accomplishment and strength. Despite its built-in difficulties, a strength will be formed in you that whatever new struggles would come your way, you will be happier, prettier and stronger as ever! Life is really what you make it. Choose a happy life despite the single parent status.

Happy heart's day to all the single moms!

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